Reality

I just wanted to share something that I have been learning. 

Have you ever been disappointed? 

Have you ever been miserable? 

Have you ever felt utterly and completely alone? 

I have news for you! Good and bad! We will start with the bad, nobody on earth will ever satisfy our every need and desire. Nobody will ever complete us to a tee. (Our marriage partner may come close, but he/she will never be perfect) We may hope and want and expect friends, significant other, family, teacher, counselor, pastor, roommate to meet certain needs, to read our minds and know what we want. And that is a BIG factor in disappointment. When expectations are not met, disappointment rolls in. Sometimes disappointment can lead to anger, a broken relationship, hurt feelings, lack of trust, and much more. 

Ok here is the good news: GOD NEVER DISAPPOINTS! 

And the weird thing is, even though we know that he is there we still try to get the attention, approval, and friendship from others. And that is why we wind up feeling alone. But guess what, WE  ARE NOT ALONE either! We have a loving, caring, all-knowing, forgiving, gracious, God who WILL NEVER LEAVE OR FORSAKE US! And he is standing there arms wide open just waiting for us to run into them. "He doesn't want to be a part of your life, He wants to BECOME your life." (clayton king) And it might be a struggle to completely let go of everything and let God take everything. Lordship, is the only thing that will EVER make life work! We can hold God to the highest standards He can and will meet them, and even go beyond our expectations! 

What will it take for us to surrender? What will it take for us to completely trust Him with everything? What will it take for us to lay down everything for His will and keep it there without trying retrieve it back into our own hands? 

Isaiah 40: 28-31 

    " Do you not know? Have you not heard? The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, does not become weary or tired. His understanding is inscrutable. (v. 29) he gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might he increases power. (v. 30) Though youths grow weary and tired and vigorous young men stumble badly. (v. 31) Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength. They will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not become weary." 

AAAH!!! Boys and Love and The messiness of it all..!!! :)

Ever hope to have love at first sight? Ever dream about your future boyfriend/girlfriend? Ever get carried away in someone you have a crush on? 

STOP!!! 

A lot of people think some of these about relationships: 

1.) It will make me more popular everyone is doing it! 

2.) I NEED someone who can know and understand and love me! 

3.) I will never have to feel alone again if I am dating! 

4.) Dating provides a way to have physical enjoyment! 

5.) Once I find the right guy, we will be the cutest most awesome couple ever!

6.) Everything will be perfect if I am in a relationship! 

NO!!!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!!! NO!!!! 

Dating does not make you more popular, yes it gives you another friend and probably a few more mutual friends. However if you want to be more popular start with listening to other people, putting others first, making an effort to hang out with people. You take the initiative in your friendships. 

I NEED someone to want, understand and love me! Guess what you have someone! Someone who loves you more than anything else in the world! Someone who DIED for you! And yet you ask for more love!!!! Nobody will ever understand you as well as Christ, nobody will ever be able to read your mind and meet every expectation and need and desire better than God who btw CREATED you!! Yet we (myself included) dream for a perfect relationship from someone who is only human and wont be able to fulfill every single one of your needs. 

I won't be alone if I am dating. Dating does  NOT make life perfect. It may actually may make life more complicated, in good and bad ways. But you do need some alone time to collect your thoughts, to prioritize your emotions and the direction your headed in your relationship. 

Dating and physical enjoyment..... hhmmm that really strikes a nerve. Too often people date to want to feel appreciated to get attention to their bodies. But in reality they are spoiling the good stuff! Once your married wouldn't it be so much more awesome if that was the first time both parties enjoyed one another. It keeps a pure relationship outside of marriage, and a more rewarding experience as a married couple. Enough on that subject! 

Again dating doesn't make life perfect. That is a very high expectation to have when it comes to relationships if you think that your partner in the relationship will be everything you need, and love you more than anything your holding a much too high expectation. And when expectations aren't met there is a lot of disappointment. It can go the opposite way too, if you hold too low of standards you give yourself away too easily. Or if you have bad expectations its hard to give something that can turn out to be a good or even great thing a chance. You feel like you can't give a real chance, you can't trust, or get your heart out in the open and then you miss out the chance for something wonderful! 

Don't get me wrong dating can be great! It can be enjoyable and exciting, it can lead to engagement and maybe marriage and maybe even a big happy family! But going into a relationship expecting and wanting a whole lot more or a whole lot less than what your really going to get, is a mistake. Dating has taken on a whole new persona in the last few generations.  

There are appropriate times to date.  Dating can be a very profitable and a wonderful thing if done correctly. Keep in mind though the key to any good relationship is by putting God first! Once dating do not neglect your friends and family and most certainly not your walk with Christ! He needs to remain first even once your married, and if both of you remain with that attitude the stronger the bond you both have in Christ, naturally the closer you will be. 

The Mask!

When I say Make-up, most people envision the fake faces that people make up with foundation, mascara, blush, eye-liner, eye-shadow,lip stick, and who knows what all else. But why do people, especially girls feel the need to wear so much make-up on their face? Confidence maybe? Acceptance? Low self-esteem? They think it makes them look nicer maybe? To hide a blemish? There are probably a lot of reasons why girls find such a need to layer on make-up (some more than others). But I am not talking about the make-up you can buy at a cosmetic store. I am talking about maybe something we may be hiding behind. Maybe the make-up of being busy all the time, or work, or studying. We may feel like if we are always working, or studying, or busy with friends or other activities we will feel more accepted, we will have a higher confidence. We may feel like we belong somewhere if we have something to plug into. Having things to "hide" behind can also hide fear, shyness, maybe something in your past, maybe it will hide a secret struggle you don't want anyone to find out about. So we wear thick foundation and all kinds of other make-up in order to appear put together and perfect and accepted by others. This feeling builds our esteem, gives higher confidence as we try to push all the other feelings of loneliness, fear, hurt, unworthiness etc... out. But your wearing so much make-up its not really you anymore. Its a picture perfect version of you, that still allows you to see your flaws even more when you take it off. 

  Have you ever washed your face and left a face-mask on? At first it feels good. It feels as though its doing its job, and your skin is getting cleaned. But after a while it starts feeling thick and plastery and inescapable. Same with our "make-up" At first it feels good, but then it hardens and sticks and all of a sudden we have a fake smile and fake personality that we can't escape! 

This is a problem!!! If foundation is left on and never washed off, just applied over and over and over again what happens? It gets dirty, and nasty! Well our dirt, and nastiness is sin! Everyone has sin, its all the things that we think, say and do that displease God. Anything from thinking a mean thought, to shop-lifting to who knows what. Its all sin, we all have it, and the punishment for all sin is the same. Death! Romans 3:23 says "For all have fallen short of the glory of God." Romans 6:23" For the wages of sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." We are headed to death and destruction in a place that is separated from God.... WE DO NOT WANT THIS!!!!! The Bible talks in Psalm 74:22 about how we are like filthy beasts, in James it describes as a vapor in the wind. The descriptions of God are the exact opposite!! Isaiah 6:1-5 describes Him as holy and powerful, the train of His robe filling the temple! Just the train of His robe!!! looks like we are in trouble there is no way we can compare or even come close to holiness like that, when we are so imperfect and flawed! 

But there is good news! Jesus says "Call upon me and you will be saved!" He says in Matthew 11:28-30 to cast all our burdens on Him and we take the yoke off our shoulders and put it on His. It says in Isaiah 40:26-31 that God is the everlasting God, He will never get tired, or weary, He is always faithful! Isaiah 41:10 says not to fear for He is our God! Psalms 74:23-24 after saying how we are like beasts it talks about how we can have a relationship with Christ! We just need to repent of our sins and believe on His name! And guess what He will do!!!!! 

HE TAKES THE MASK OFF!!! He wipes it off with ease and gentleness. And just like once the face-wash is off our skin is smooth and vulnerable so are our hearts. After our mask is washed off our skin is clean but it still could use the moisterizer of God's grace and the toner of prayer, and the protection of His word. It says in Hebrews 10:8-10 once we are saved by His grace we go through the process of sanctification which is becoming like Him. Once we are saved He gives us three things. 

1.) A new Name! he calls us His child, He calls us Beloved! 

2.) A new Nature! 2 Corinthians 5:17 The old has passed away behold new things have come!

3.) A new Identity! 2 Samuel 16:7 God does not see the same way people see, people look at the outside of a person but the Lord looks at the heart! 

So in closing, we have a hope! We don't have to be stuck in a rut with a plastic mask on! It also says in James 1:19-27 about how after we are read to the word of God, after we are to hear what He wants us to hear we are not supposed to leave it at that! That would be like looking in a mirror seeing blemishes and noticing that your hair needs combing and your shirt smells bad, and not changing anything. No! God wants us to read his word and prayerfully come about to apply it to our lives. Washing your face once, wont clear all the acne away. But do it for a month.... and you may have much clearer skin! 

Twitter, the newest web attraction. Twitter is a site that uses some of the common attractions of Myspace and Facebook in a whole new way. According to Twitter's website, "Twitter is a service for friends, family, and co-workers to communicate and stay connected through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing?" 

Simply put, it is like the status bar on Facebook. You simply state what you are doing or the thoughts running through your head. Twitter is easy to join, its free, and it can be updated via cell phone. Which is a feature that makes it quicker and easily accessible. 

Bob Caswell  writes a review on TechConsumer,focusing on the design and goals of Twitter. He says "The whole point of Twitter is to answer the question 'What are you doing' in 140 characters or less. Your friends instantaneously see a trail of your answers, and you see a feed of their latest answers as well." 

He continues to say that its all about following people around, whether they are your friends or interesting people that you met. You can follow their updates and thats basically how you get connected. According to him it can potentially become an addiction however it can be useful sometimes. 

However the more media attractions the more addictions. "Mass media and society", an article written by Alison Alexander, and Jarice Hanson believe that media is harming our society. 

Hanson says, " Media is a very integral part of our lives and therefore it generates popular interest and debate about any social problem that we can think of." 

For example mass media affects how we learn about our world and interact with one another. They gave some staggering stats about media consumption. If we face it, there is a lot of junk out there on the web. So is it really worth the time. Should we really be investing our time in various blogs and chats such as Myspace, or Xanga, or Facebook, or Twitter, and others.  

For communications sake yes it is probably getting more and more imperative that we keep up with technology in order to be connected. But how involved do we need to be. I want to propose that we can still be kept in the loop and not have to be virtually addicted to any websites. 

This article by "Mass Media Has Both Harmful and Beneficial Effects" written by Herminne Tonita does a good job describing the negative and positive outcomes of media.  

"Media is beneficial because it provides us all the information we need from all over the world, it entertains us and at the same time it helps us find more about a topic we are interested in. On the other hand, TV and the Internet destroy communication between the members of the family and make them behave like teenagers."